Lifestyle

Three steps to happiness – how to cope when you don’t feel ‘good enough’…

*Warning: there’s a bit of a personal post incoming. If you’re along for the ride of my PR journey (the highs, the lows and the bare ugly truth of it all) then you’re in the right place. If you visit my blog only for my insights into the industry of public relations, and would rather hear about my campaign and brand-centric opinions than my ramblings about personal feelings and all that jazz, then feel free to bounce now.* 

I’m not here to get too deep, mind. I just wanted to talk quite candidly about something that’s been bothering me lately (I mean, it’s been bothering me my whole life, but this moment presents a particular peak) and that’s the simple feeling of not being good enough. Not being good enough at blogging, at ‘adult-ing’, at public relations. At being a friend, a girlfriend, a relative. Everything. Though I’m generally a bit of a free soul and am often happy, I also do sometimes feel this way – and it’s beginning to become problematic.

The point is, it’s easy to feel inadequate when you’re surrounded by brilliance.

Finding that putting feelings into words often helps, I decided to write this post – which is a little different from my usual content I’ll give you that. Nevertheless, this is my website and my platform, and if I want to talk about it, why shouldn’t I?

But rather than bog you down with the gruelling details of my journey to self-acceptance, I wanted to talk about how I find the courage to stand in the mirror and tell myself ‘you ARE good enough’. It’s not easy, and I do often have days where it’s physically impossible to tell myself that. (My blog normally bears the brunt of most of my inner abuse; I often question ‘what’s the point?’ and tell myself that I’ll never be in the ranks of other similar bloggers, so why bother). But, I’m a human and I’m working on it. And if anybody else is struggling with feelings of self-doubt, much like I often do, I want to help you out with it too.

Step ONE: ask yourself… Really?

What is ‘good enough’ anyway? How does one even define that?

There isn’t really a hypothetical chart that ranks the human race on ‘not good’ to ‘good’, so why all of a sudden are people like myself trying to find it, and moreover to find our place on it?

If I ever find myself getting upset and going over the usual in my head… ‘Am I good enough at my job? Am I embarrassing as a writer? etc etc etc.’ I tend to let myself get it out, and then take a step back and say to myself… “Am I really asking myself this?”

It takes a bit of back and forth arguing in my own head (yeah, my evenings sound wild don’t they?) to realise that I am me, and nobody can be the same as that – so what is there to compare myself to anyway? What a boring world it would be if everybody was the same. And in fear of sounding like Keala Settle, this is me. 

I need to be happy with that.

Step TWO: cherish what you have

I HATE  the term ‘there’s nothing to be sad about because a lot have it worse than you’.

Largely because that’s really not fair. Problems are problems, big or small. If they matter to you – they matter.

However, in a bit of an uncertain time for me (moving to a new city all on your own is scary guys, and it does take some getting used to), I decided to start relishing in all the good things in my life to look back on should I ever feel down. And that doesn’t mean reminiscing either, no I soon found out that looking back over your university days and wishing you were still living in that 8 bedroom house with your friends is no good for your mental wellbeing. So instead of doing this, I decided to find something good in every present-day instead.

Introducing… The one second everyday app, which you might have heard of.

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If you haven’t got this app, I couldn’t recommend it enough. I’m already excited to see my 2019 compilation, and we’re only 14 days in!

I downloaded this app – that allows you to upload a photo or a one-second video every day to it – on the 1st January this year and I made it my new years resolution to add something to it every day. Something that I should be proud of, or be happy for etc. And so far – it’s going well.

If I get a great piece of coverage that day, it goes in the app. If I do something nice with my boyfriend, it goes in the app. Or even if I just find myself getting home from work and heading to the gym, it goes in the app – because 1) I enjoy the gym, and 2) it reminds me that last year was the year I overcame a big mental block around the gym and can now enjoy having an active and healthy lifestyle as opposed to fearing it.

The app then collates all your memoirs together, it can be at any point throughout the year but I’m waiting until the end of 2019. So, wherever I may be, I can look back on my time and remind myself once again that I have so much to be thankful and happy for, sometimes my eyes just need opening a little to that.

Life is made of moments, and this helps me to document mine.

Step THREE: be happy to be YOU

Uh, it sounds incredibly cliche, but this goes back to my first point.

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You is being stupid for telling yourself you’re not good enough

I often get over my idle self-doubts by telling myself this over and over again. Though I sometimes get upset over things my life is missing per se. (Like being away from my family, my friends and my boyfriend for example), I counteract it. Okay, I’m not a student anymore and I’m not spending every day with the people I love most, but at the same time I’m just 21 years old and I’ve moved to a city on my own to work in an executive position for a company I love and in a career I enjoy.

Though I don’t often think very highly of myself, I do have to remind myself of what I’ve achieved already during my 21 short years on this earth. Remembering this helps me to be happy with who I am and to be excited about the future – I mean, what else can I achieve in the NEXT 21 years?

It’s easier said than done, but if you find yourself questioning whether you’re good enough, be sure to ask yourself what ‘good enough’ is definitive of first (step one). Then begin to relish in your happy moments (step two). And finally, focus on what makes you great – and love yourself for it (step three).

P.s. – Thank You!!

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I’m not quite done yet either. Talking about being ‘good enough’ is funny, because I largely come back to my blog on this. I’m in a small but brilliant pool of talented and creative writers, and I too often feel as though I don’t belong here. Therefore, to be in amongst the finalists for the UK blog awards for best PR, Marketing and Comms blog means so much to me… Beyond words.

It’s amazing in fact.

Therefore, I just wanted to say a big… No, a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who voted for me in the awards. If it wasn’t for the people who read my blog and support me every day, I almost certainly wouldn’t bother. So for that, endless gratitude is in order.

Thank you.

While you’re here, please subscribe to my blog by heading back to my homepage and entering your email on the right-hand side of the page.

PR and lifestyle blogger jessica pardoe

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